What Being 21 Means to Me

One of my favorite historical idols to ever live is the rapper Juice WRLD. In high school, I listened to his albums religiously when driving, hanging with friends, or studying for the ACT. I still remember when he overdosed in the airport at 21. As I learned about his tragic death, I felt helplessly disconnected from realizing just how young 21 was. And now that I'm about to surpass this age, I'm thinking of his eerie line, “We ain't making it past 21”.

I remember a few months before he died, when he toured through OKC. I went with Jonny and we jumped up and down while singing our favorite songs at the top of our lungs. We moshed to Robbery. We waved our phone flashlights while singing Legends with the crowd. At the end of the concert, an emotional Juice WRLD, trying not to pass out from exhaustion, downed a water bottle and spoke his heart out to the crowd.

“Anybody in here who has dreams or aspirations raise your hand!”

I raised my hand without any specific dream in mind. Maybe it was going to college, doing well on a test, or I nearly teared up, watching everyone around me with their hand all the way up. We were all young teenagers, packed like sardines in a concert hall, with no clue about how things would end up years from then.

But watching Juice WRLD, he had a Napoleonic way of connecting with crowds. He wasn't afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve, and he was giving all his energy for us to hear his message. It was so cliche looking back, but the way he said it I could tell he meant every single word.

“As long as you put your mind to whatever that dream is, give it your all, and don't let anybody steer you off your path, you'll get exactly where you wanna be. I'm living proof of that shit!”

Just a couple of days ago, I was sitting on the New York subway, watching the sun start to set over the Manhattan skyline. I thought of this moment, and I paused whatever song I was playing in my Spotify to switch to Juice WRLD. I closed my eyes and reminisced on what it felt like to be back in that sweaty concert hall, with my hand touching the sky.